Newcastle United Football Club appoint Sam Allardyce, an experienced football manager.  He leaves by "mutual consent" after only a few months in charge, apparently because the new chairman doesn't like his style of management.

Newcastle appoint Kevin Keegan, former player, former manager, out of football management for several years, and known to be possessed of a short temper and therefore likely to resign at the slightest provocation.  He resigns after less than a year in charge.

Newcastle appoint Joe Kinner, former manager of Wimbledon, out of football management for several years having resigned from his last football job because of serious health problems.  He has a heart bypass operation and has to stand down.

Today Newcastle will appoint Alan Shearer, former player, who has no coaching experience, lacks a Uefa Pro licence, and has apparently turned down previous opportunities at the club (and with England), because he was quite happy being a TV pundit. 

Well, it is April Fools Day